Soon after we found ourselves arriving at the gates of yet another magnificent city, but this time we could hear the reassuring sound of voices within. So we approached a young elven lady who was in the courtyard in front of a large palace to inquire of our whereabouts. She welcomed us warmly and informed us that we had arrived at the end of one of our quests, for this is the famed Palace of Tears, the quest we had been sent on for Fimbleby was now considered complete. We were welcome to rest a few days and begin the second part of the related quest, which promised to return abundant rewards, or should we wish to we could return home once we felt refreshed and ready to journey once more.
Well we are not folk to falter at a challenge so of course we declared ourselves interested in remaining to quest on within the Palace Grounds once the information was ready to be imparted to us . ( Stage 1 of the Fantasy Faire hunt ends at Faire close on 11th May, the second instalment is run on a separate sim at The Palace of Tears.) The lady clapped happily and made arrangements for us to be settled in very comfortable lodgings within the palace grounds, before she left us to rest she bade me to her find her in the gardens as she wished to speak with me on a private matter.
After bathing and a change of clothes I suggested you rest whilst I seek out our host to discover what she wished to say to me. I was surprised to find it was not knowledge she wished to impart, but rather the opportunity for me to share my own experiences. You see the Palace of Tears is so named as it is a refuge for people to grieve, to rage at the Cancer that racks their bodies or takes their loved ones from them to soon. And so I share my story.
I am the only daughter in a family with three children, this shouldn’t matter, that I am a girl should not have made a difference to my experience and yet it has. My parents are a hard working farming couple who have raised us to value family , loyalty, respect and helping others, all admirable traits which I thank them for instilling in us. My mother has had a difficult life due to a series of health issues, diabetes, blood pressure, thyroid – all manageable with medication but for one thing, she also has a mental health issue that has affected her ability and desire to take her medications. The result has meant that she has been in and out of hospital for the last 40 years, and as time has gone by it developed that it became my role to care for her and see she got to hospital as needed. Taxing on both of us, but necessary as although my parents are still married they are not especially close anymore, and though she loves my brothers they have found it harder to stay calmly involved when she is not responding, so the role of caretaker was firmly placed upon my shoulders.
And now cancer comes into my story. My father’s family have had brushes with cancer of different forms over the years, his sister died in her early 30s with aggressive breast cancer leaving her two very young children without a mother. I mentioned my father is a farmer,well the years of being out on the farm my father doing the things he loved but also unknowingly putting his health at risk. When I was a teenager there were many times my father had trips into the city, several hours drive away, to get lumps removed from the skin of his arms, neck and ears,in the past these were all tested and cleared. But several years ago the outcome was very different, a lump on his nose showed suspicious cells so a small amount of tissue was removed. Less than a month later he had to return as they felt not all affected cells had been removed, this operation was followed up with radiation treatment. Every day I left work and drove to collect my father, taking him to the hospital, keeping him company and driving him home, before returning back to work. I must acknowledge that I have the most wonderfully supportive and understanding employers ever!
My father responded, partly I believe because of his physical fitness and partly with the fast action and his positive state of mind. Then several months later things went wrong, an infection led to necrosis and it was decided his nose needed to be entirely removed. He returned home much more subdued, the operation had been successful but left him with some muscle and nerve damage. My father had the option to get a prosthetic nose enabling him to reduce the visual impact of his missing nose, but the glues were not effective for such an active man, and the option of attaching a magnet to the bone in his nasal cavity became less appealing as the procedures had started to take its toll. Before cancer had left such a noticeable mark on my father, you would have looked at him and said he’s a fit , healthy man in his early 70s. In fact he was almost 80, two years later he looks almost into his 90s instead of being about to celebrate his 80th birthday this year.
Over the period of my father being in and out of hospital for operations, treatment and checkups I was by his side and my mother chose to stay home, feeling safer away from the crowded hospitals. In a way it worked, for crowds are one of her triggers for agitation that increase her likelihood of taking a downward slide with her mental well-being. During the time my father was unwell, my mother stayed well, once my father was given the all clear on cancer my mother has become unwell again, the combined pressure of their health situations over the last couple years has stressed their relationship and tested the bonds of family. Being so involved in caring for both of my parents has taken a toll on my own health too, recently I had to step back for my own sake and that has resulted in feelings of guilt for not being so readily there. Cancer affects more than the cells that are changed, more than the body that is fighting those cells, more than the person who is trying to recover and go on. Cancer affects emotional well-being, self view, relationships and perspective.
If this is my only brush with cancer I know I will be lucky. The message that I want to impart with the sharing of my tale, as a support person of someone who has dealt with cancer and won, is that it is okay to ask for help. You do not have to be battling cancer to suffer from cancer. You are not alone.
The emotions , the stress, the ongoing worry, all of it bought to the surface like an infected wound that had abscessed whilst I had tried to hide it and go on with everyday life. I felt feverish and raw, tears flowing freely as I experienced the catharsis of telling someone else what I had felt and been through. The release of guilt over the tension I felt with withdrawing myself from the immediacy of caring for my parents, I know that should they become unwell they will contact me as will my brothers, but this time I won’t accept doing everything myself. For my parents sake, for my health and for the happiness of my own family as well as my extended family I will not try and cope with things alone. As the elven lady watched me begin to calm and settle she moved her hand before her, tracing a pattern in the air, a series of small blue lights followed and she made the circle larger. Step through, you need to finish your journey.
Skin: Margot – Europa 01 – Blonde, Glam Affair
Hair: “Chihiro” (Platinum), “”D!va””
Eyes: Lucid Eyes – Silver, IKON
Gown:Eleya’s Song – Gown , Poet’s Heart ( RFL item @ Wiggenstead Mooring, Fantasy Faire)
Accessories: Sumiana Crown and Collar -Ice-, . a i s l i n g . ( RFL item @ Hope’s Horizon, Fantasy Faire)
Light Aura , . a i s l i n g . ( free gift @ We ❤ RP)
Extras: ELF_EARS_SImple, [MANDALA]
Poses: Summer set, Moragane Batista Poses ( coming soon)